In my last blog I talked about how to improve the relationship with your partner. For this episode, our discussion will focus on a different type of relationship: your kids!
Being a parent is no easy feat. STRESS!! That goes for both me and my wife. You see, parenthood is not like an exam where you are given an instruction booklet. My wife and I kicked ass in school as we were told what to study. How easy would it be to get a manual or troubleshooting booklet when things start to get confusing.
I still remember taking Adella home from the hospital after she was born and walking into our flat and thinking now what? How do we keep this baby alive??
I know that there are parents out there who sometimes have trouble spending time with their kids given their hectic work schedules. This would sometimes result in a more challenging relationship. To stop that from happening, here are a few reminders that you can bear in mind as a parent to help with your relationship with your kids.
Top 6 Tips for Relationship with your Child
Enjoy the Process
Work on it Daily
Be the Example
Let Them Fly
First, is to simply enjoy everything. This includes the activities you do with your kids even if it is not your favourite game. If you make it fun for your kids you will always have more fun as well. I am not usually the biggest fan of hide and seek. However, seeing Adella and Win giggle right before you find them is priceless.
The key to any game for me as mine are 3 and 4 is to make sure there is tons of laughter. However, Adella loves to learn. As I am a geeky engineer, mathematics is one of my favourites. So doing addition tables for her has been a fun game for us lately. Win just loves anything that has to do with a ball. This is right up my alley as I can play with balls for hours.
Second is for you to always remember to act the way you want your kids to follow or learn from. Children have a knack for imitating their parents’ actions including the way they dress, how they speak, and sometimes even the mannerisms. Someone is always watching you! It is actually scary how much they take after you.
A huge recommendation is to make sure you also follow your dreams and set an incredible example. How can you expect your kids to go after their dreams if you are just working a job you hate? You need to make sure you follow your dreams. This simply gives them permission to follow their own dreams in life. Imposing your desired goals for them is a recipe for disaster since what you want may not be what they want. Let them do things on their own. I have seen examples of friends who take over family businesses and hate it. I have also seen other friends do their own things even if they were expected to take over something. The difference in their happiness is immense. Do not put that pressure on your kids to follow a certain path that you want for them. Let them discover that themselves.
Are you a helicopter parent or like me let your kids do too much? Some parents tend to do things for their children without realizing that it is supposed to be an opportunity for the child to learn and grow. I am not saying, however, that the parents should leave their children on their own. What I mean is that parents must know when they are supposed to intervene and when they are supposed to just let their children do the solving on their own. I know I tend to maybe be on the absolute no help side at times and should maybe give a bit of a nudge in the right direction. However, I also love to see them overcome those challenges and find solutions to their problems without me interfering. I have to thank my mother for giving me a lot of freedom and making sure I took responsibility at a very early age.
And the last tip is for you to be your child’s number one fan. Be their support and source of motivation. Let them choose for themselves without having to impose what you want from them. Allow them to go beyond their comfort zone so that they can explore. Show them and tell them how much they mean to you and that you will always be there for them.
Some of the things you can do is by going to a play they will be performing in, a game they will be playing in, or other school activities that involve the participation of parents and students. Be proud of your child and make sure you show it to them by taking the time to be there for them. Always focus on their effort more than the result as you want them to always be testing new things and not only focus on the things they are good at.
Of course, each parent has their own approach when it comes to improving their relationship with their children. The reminders that I have provided are just some of the things that you need to take note of to help you on your way. Of course, do not forget to communicate with your children as this will help you understand them better. This also builds a stronger bond because of the sense of trust that comes with it. Listen to them!
The process will not be easy but in the long run, once you see how good your relationship with your children has become, everything will be worth it. Just remember to have fun and not be too serious.